2 is Better than 1 Kraft Single (Double?)

Kraft Introduces New Kraft Doubles For Couples

NORTHFIELD,IL—Kraft officials claim that this is the first adjoined-cheese product that's both practical and sexy. Kraft Doubles — jointly wrapped slices of American cheese specially designed with couples in mind.

Ok, Kraft. Just say what really happened here. You want to save money on plastic and save the environment. You recently laid off half of your plastic wrapper inspector workforce. You want to compete with the traditional heart-shaped box of candy come February 14, but are finding it difficult since processed cheese is a hard sell to romantics.

But please, don't try to convince me you had couples in mind when launching this ridiculous product. In fact, according to you (Kraft!), only 8 percent of your regular consumers have spouses.

And I don't believe anyone will gain a spouse by using Kraft.

Now, not only will you have to peel the sticky, orange mass away from it's protective cellophane sheath — you'll have to pull the slices away from each other. YUCK!